2002-12-31 - 4:23 p.m.
Goodbye to 2002
Who thinks it is time for me to write a goodbye to the year 2002 as we know it? I do. So here goes. I dont even know where to begin when it comes to talking about the last year, maybe cause there has been so much im overwelmed. Maybe cause ive changed so much as a person on the inside.
The year got off to a pretty stressful start, as school really was killing me. The stresses of OAC, and more than ever it was the first semester that killed me, so as 2002 started, and semester one was coming to an end, it was a good point. There was so much stress to get good grades, as that was what the universities would be looking. I guess when April came around, and not only was i accpeted the the university i wanted to go to *Brock* but i was also accpeted to every university i applied to. I guess at the beggining of the year when fear that i would go no where in life changed. The second semester at school i was a bit more laidback, trying to "enjoy" the last few months of highschool i had. By the end i just wanted to get the hell out of there. People hadnt changed one bit, and it was like i was in grade 9 all over again, and i was ready to MOVE ON with my life. I was still looked at by how i made myself in grade 9, which was quiet nice tawnya. When inside i was screaming cause people didnt know the REAL me, the real crazy, i just wanna speak my mind tawnya. So walking out those doors after my last exam on that hot june day was a release the strans i felt in highschool, and it was time to let people know who tawnee REALLY WAS!!!
There were some good times in the first half of 2002. The ones that stick out in my mind were tawnya and lindsay day-o-funs, crazy drives to whitby *haha*, march break trip to Niagara Falls, the 2002 winter olymips, or better said, CANADA WINNING BOTH GOLDS IN HOCKEY BABY!!!!! oh that day will never be forgotten! The nights of playing hockey by the flea market, punk shows, and i acually had my first clubbing experience in early 2002, who would have thought that only this year i started going to clubs/bars!?
Summer slowly came, and i will FOREVER thank my great sister tarah for talking to Alex that one night in June, and for going to get icecream at the corner store with them after i hadnt talked to Alex for over a year. From that day the greatest friendships ive had started. I also thank myself, or some weird thought i my head for going out that one night a few days after that when i just HAPPENED to walk by my computer on my way up to bed, and decided to message alex, only to find out him and some guy i didnt know Matt where at mel's house bored out of their mind. As they tryed and tryed to convince me to come over, i kept saying no, and that i was going to bed, but than suddenly i decidef to say yes, and it was by far the best thing i ever did. If i didnt i dont think i would have become closer with Alex, and met Matt *or than again, start liking Matt* and Alex invited me to his party...and thats what i would like to think started it all. Me, Alex, Tarah, Matt and Navin became very close for the next few days, until the GREAT day we call Canada Day or July 1st happen. Me and the girls sitting on the bench, when Navin just happened to see us, and that was the start of the "crew" so to speak!!!! From that day i think there was only one or two days during the whole summer all of us were not together, and ive never in my life felt so comfotable with a group of people. There are so many good times from that summer that would take forever for me to write down. It was a summer where i really could be myself. I "opened" up, weither or not other people noticed that i dont know, but for me i did. I wasnt afraid to tell people what i thought, i wasnt afriad to talk to this people, i wasnt afraid to let them see the real me. They werent gonna judge me on my past, or by the stupid things i say from time to time, i really felt like i belonged and that they truely cared, and how much words cant describe how i care about them. I got closer to my sister which was one of the best feeling in the world. Of cource we have our fights, but i honesly can say tarah is one of my best friends, and i can tell her anything and she will flat out tell me what she thinks. They always say that it takes time for you to get along with your sibblings, and its mostly not til your in the laster stages on life, and im glad me and tarah are close right now, cause even though i may act like the younger sister sometimes, i know she will ALWAYS be there for me and i appricate it!
Before the summer i always had this state of mind that i couldnt get along with girls, and i mainly had all guy friends. But as the summer came and even going away to school at Brock i reliesed that i was lying to myself, and not ALLOWING myself to get along with girls, and i really wasnt giving them chances. As i became closer with Lindsay, Robin and Lisa i reliesed that i CAN be friends with girls, and if anything i needed that. I needed more people to be there when i needed to talk about girly things, talk about boys, someone to talk to reliese i wasnt alone on the things i thought. These girls didnt care what i wore, or what guys i liked, or what i looked like, they liked me for me *i hope!* hahaha. I could trust them, and even though it is still hard for me to tell people my problems, i know that i can always go to them and they will be there to listen, and im always there for them!
As the summer came and went, i reliesed that communication is the best thing, and that you should tell people what you feel. I always held that inside of me, but i learned not to be afraid, and if anything it will make you feel better!
As i moved away from Pickering, i moved onto something so much more than i expected. Brock and St. catharines became my new home, and what a home it is:) I met people that were so much like me, and that in such a SHORT period of time we could feel so comfortable with each other. We were all in the same boat, noone cared who you were in highschool, we all got to know each other for you, and not what other people made you to be. Even thou me and vicki were so diffferent, and came from different background and values in life, people said we were the best paired roommates. Vicki taught me SOO many things, and she was the mother figure i needed when i was always from home. She wasnt there to be fake with everyone and tell you want you wanted to hear, she would tell you HOW IT IS. She really was my reality check, she kept my grounded, and that girl sure does make me laugh. We may not have ever been the best of friends, but we were right for each other, we taught each other a lot of things, and it opened my eyes wider to the world around me. Jamie on the other hand is just like me, she is like my long lost sister. Again we came from totally different backgrounds, but we are so much alike it is scary. I can see us being friends for a LONG time, and i hope we are. From the first day i met her and we went partying together i felt like ive known her forever, we can just sit there and be in silence and just start laughing cause we think alike. Even though it seems like we party alot (but hey its my first year at university) she has kept me grounded as well. University as a whole has taught me alot of things, that people are so different, and that the world is BIGGER than just what i saw of it in pickering. I didnt have to be ashamed for how i was, for being weird, cause people will love you for who you are.
As i think of myself, i think that im still a kid at heart, and i think i always will be. Right now i dont wanna be a grown up, and thats the right thing for me right now. I had the time of my life this past year, ive done things i thought i would nEVER do, i experienced things unimaginable, i met people who are real and could be myself around. You shouldnt be afraid to have fun, and thats what im doing. Im still young, and this was the year for me to experiment. It was time for me to break out of who i used to be, or was made out to be. This is the real me, weither you like it or not, im happy with myself, and the key to life is be happy with yourself, before anyone eles can. Love yourself before others can love you. In the past i was afraid..afraid of alot of things, and of cource i still am, but those small things i was afriad of *for example before this year i was afriad to kiss boys, and look what happened! hahah*, i slowly break out of. I guess its hard to explain this year in words, cause i was the only one who had to live it for me, but know this, this is just the start of something great. 2003? Who knows what it will bring, the only thing i can say i learned from this year, is to not expect things, dont plan things, just let life happen!! Dont blink, cause you might miss it!!!:)
*Dont cry because it is over, Smile because it happened*..
I love you all. Thanks for a great year!:) Bye 2002, hellllllo 2003:)
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