2003-03-27 - 7:37 p.m.
All worked up.
Hey hey..im just wanting for 8 oclock to roll around, so i thought i would update.
Nothing much new with me. Still thinking about boys non-stop. But thats just me. I havent been doing much. Just chilling around, being stupid, you know how it goes. The weather has been so GREAT lately..always outside. Today we were outside throwing around the football. Good times. Kinda glad i have that "football" gene in my system from my dad, all the guys are like "Man tawnya you can throw!". *bows thank you thank you...* What else..i decided to go out tonight. Again really when can i ever say no...fuck....And i complain i have no money. But really what else am i gonna do with my money? I dont know.
HAHAHHA me and trina had a good talk at Lunch today. I started telling her stories about a boy from my past. Oh man i got SOOOO worked up telling this story, i was shaking by the end of the story. But she TOTALLLy understands and can relate to everything i was saying. It just really felt good to let shit out, and have someone understand where i am coming from on things. I love aussie!
I kinda was afriad to go to Isaacs tonight. I talked to ryan last night. Fuck im really scared with him. I hae no clue why, maybe cause he seems too good for me. And that scared me off so much. Ive been like that SOOO many times, where the guy is just too nice and too perfect for me, and i get scared, and "run away" and loose my chance. I dont even know. we were joking around, and i was kinda being really stand offish, and i guess he said something like "You dont trust people very often do you". Its weird that he got that impression form me, cause it is so tru. Its soo hard for me to trust people. I told him about it, and he sais he understood and just implying that he was gonna work at me, and he wasnt giving up on me cause im "not like any other girl". Its so weird. I DONT EVEN REALLY KNOW HIM..ahhh....i guess thats what scares me. Im kinda scared to see him tonight. I dont know why. There are just some guys i just get so shy around, and nervous cause guys do that to me. Im so comfortable when i was with him, but at the same time not. Who fucking knows. Here i go anaylising everything.
SOOO ON THAT NOTE, im going home tommrowa to get away for a few days. I miss my family too much. I dont know how i would survive living 1000000 miles away, i would go insane. So ya, now im all worked up from all this thinking...so im gonna start drinking some beer. Good night.
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